If you are having trouble choosing the “next best” step or deciding where to go in life, I invite you to explore a retreating practice with a set of Story-Beads.

We all lead busy, often hectic lives, each in our own way. For me, I struggle to find a balance between taking care of my family and my need for solitude. What time I do have I need to make as meaningful as possible. This is where my retreat practice comes in. Retreating is consciously taking time out of my ordinary, every day life to get in touch with something bigger than that ordinary every day life. I allow myself to withdraw from the outside world in favor of focusing on the inner world even if I can only get away for a short time. I leave the ordinary behind and consciously create a time and space for the extraordinary to happen.

That Which Is Bigger

Retreating is about getting in touch with something bigger than I am. In any situation, in any relationship there is always That Which Is Bigger. Sometimes that’s Spirit or God, but oftentimes That Which Is Bigger is something less definable. When two people come together in a friendship or a marriage, there are two individuals and then there’s the relationship to which they are both committed; that relationship is Something Bigger than the two alone. Something Bigger could be a desire – a desire to finish a writing project, a desire to lose 20 pounds, a desire to reinforce a spiritual practice; that desire is bigger than the actions necessary to bring them into being. Sometimes That Which Is Bigger is a grief – the death of a loved one, a promotion falling through, an illness. And there are times when That Which Is Bigger is called intuition, or that inner wisdom that you wish to tap into.

When I let my beads represent That Which Is Bigger, I can ask “What do my beads have to say?” The voice that answers is That Which Is Bigger. Retreating makes the time and space to hear the many possible answers. My Story-Beads act as a tangible reminder to stay open to Spirit. They ask me to practice listening to that “still small voice” of intuition. They are practice, a scaffold that supports me while I learn to recognize the voice of That Which Is Bigger so that I can eventually hear it even without the beads. By retreating with my beads I create a silence that allows the voice of my deeper knowing to be amplified. The beads allow intuition to speak to me more clearly.

Obviously my beads don’t talk, but having them symbolize That Which Is Bigger allows me to tap into a wider knowledge base. I find answers I may not have considered before. Sometimes I get stuck in my head – I’m convinced “I know” the answers, or just as often that “I don’t know.” I find I can’t mentally move beyond those limiting thoughts, but using this technique let’s me move beyond those limits. Whether I’m really connecting with something outside of myself matters less than the fact that this method is effective; this creative approach opens up a whole world of possible solutions that I might never have considered otherwise. Retreating can create the quiet I need to practice this approach.

My Story-Beads remind me of the time I have taken; every month that I retreat with my beads I bring back some bit of intuition, advice or knowing. My beads remind me of this. My beads also remind me that next month is another retreat - another chance to listen to Spirit in an environment that makes it easier to hear what is being offered. And my beads, resting in my lap as I drive to some errand, hint that while I’m at it, I could take a moment now and check in with That Which Is Bigger to see what it has to say. Because I listen during my retreats, I know what that “voice” sounds like. So maybe, I think as I hold my beads, I could hear it now, in my ordinary life, too.

How to Retreat/The Importance of Intention

Retreating is about asking a question and listening for the answers. The first step in every retreat is identifying your intention. Intention is the question; it’s the tool used to focus the retreat and make it as meaningful as possible. What does intention do?

• Intention focuses on what’s important to you. What’s on your mind? What’s troubling your heart? What are you envious of? What do you yearn for? Sit with your beads and these questions and allow yourself to get in touch with what you might need most.
• Intention takes that need and phrases it as a question. Moving from a statement to a question changes the retreat from a “should” on a To Do List to an exploration. It’s the difference between “I am comforting myself” and ”In what ways could I comfort myself?” By phrasing an intention as a question, instead of one correct answer or approach there are suddenly many more possibilities.
• Intention defines what activities you’re going to do in the body of the retreat. Once you’ve identified your intention, you can plan the rest of your retreat. What activities will help you to find answers to the question you’ve asked? Will you walk? Will you journal? Will you meditate? Will you dance or practice yoga? Will you find a beach where you can put all your frustrations into stones and throw them into the sea? Will you listen to music? Will you cry? Will you laugh? How will you explore yourself in order to unleash the answers that already lie within you?
• Intention brings you back when your mind wanders. The mind wanders. It’s the natural way of things, and in fact, a certain amount of wandering is good in a retreat; it’s where the really juicy ideas tend to come from. Sometimes, though, wandering turns into worrying, or list making or any of a hundred different thoughts that don’t support your intention. It’s easy to then get wrapped up in guilt and lose the retreating experience all together. Returning to your intention gently brings you back to what you want to be doing, what you want to be focusing on.
• Intention helps you to know when your time is finished. There comes a point in time when you have, if not a definitive answer then at least an inkling as to what that answer could be and a direction to move in. When that time comes it’s time to transition back into our regular lives. It’s also important to formally end a retreat, even by simply declaring that you are finished and returning to the ordinary world. Retreating puts you into a different mental space. Without the transition back it can be difficult to return to everyday tasks with clarity or to once again be present in your regular life.

Intention is, in its own way, a story. It’s the story behind working with Story-Beads in the first place. It isn’t just that I want to finish a writing project. There is a story to that project – one about wanting to help teen in trouble, about healing old hurts of my own and about making a difficult time in my life make sense through a desire to help others. Knowing that story, that intention, helps me to choose my actions more carefully (make decisions) more appropriately and helps to winnow out the “next best step.” Stating an intention brings clarity to your actions and allows you to choose.

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